lessons in impermanence

Henry Dang, 15, killed on his bike
By Harlan Levy
Journal Inquirer
WINDSOR LOCKS — A long line of around 400 sad and tearful students and friends came to Windsor Locks Congregational Church on Sunday afternoon to mourn the death of Henry Dang, 15, who was killed riding his bicycle early Saturday morning.
The simple facts of the case, which starkly belie the depth of emotions Henry Dang’s death aroused in the community, are these: It was closing in on midnight Friday when the high school sophomore got on his bike and left a friend’s house, heading home. A few blocks away, at the corner of Spring and West streets, he collided with motorist Michael Koistinen, an off-duty police officer, who was traveling west on Spring Street.
Both were injured. Dang was taken by ambulance to Hartford Hospital, where he died. An ambulance took Koistinen to Johnson Memorial Hospital in Stafford, where he was treated and released.
No further details were available today. The North Central Municipal Accident Reconstruction Squad is investigating.
Koistinen, 24, joined the Windsor Locks Police Department in February 2009. He was scheduled to work today. Police Chief John Suchocki said today he doesn’t know when Koistinen will return to work.
“I was just getting up to visit a college in Massachusetts, and then I got the call,” said senior Ellary Douglas, 17, “and at first I didn’t believe it. I thought it was a joke. Then I heard more, and I saw Facebook, and it was on Facebook, and then it hit me that he was gone. It was very emotional.”
Junior Maria Brown, 16, awoke early Saturday morning. “I got up early to go to the gym to practice for basketball when I got a call from one of Henry’s close friends,” she said. “I didn’t believe it. I don’t think anyone who got the call believed it — him, out of every kid in this town, all the kids that do drugs, all the kids that are bad kids. Henry was the best kid in this town. I’m still in shock.”
“Early Saturday morning my son’s girlfriend came over sobbing to tell us what happened,” said Henry’s church youth group leader Colleen Conroy. “It’s devastating. He was just too young.”
“It’s just tragic,” Pastor Kevin Flannery said.
On Sunday there were two events at the church, a regular morning service followed by a memorial service at 1 p.m. to pay respects to Dang and offer comfort to his mother and two older brothers and sister. Seeing the number of mourners coming to the morning service, Flannery changed his sermon topic, which had been stewardship.
“We decided to do one that touched on grief so that the kids could actually walk through some of the stuff that they’re feeling,” he said. That includes his daughter.
“My daughter’s the same age and was friends with Henry. It just rips my heart out. We’re just so sad.”
Flannery’s sermon ended with “focusing on the reality that none of us knows how long we are here.”
Well before 1, a throng of mourners began making its way to the church on Main Street. Each signed in and slowly filled the pews. Many of Henry’s classmates spoke about him at an open microphone, and a slide show prompted tears for a valued life cut short.
“Henry pretty much was the life of the school,” Ellary Douglas said. “He brought every single person together, even if they didn’t like each other.”
Saturday night, Douglas said, Henry’s high school friends gathered in a basement to remember him. “We just hung out together, and there was a bunch of people you would never think were friends or who talked to each other,” she said. “We were just together, talking about Henry, reminiscing about Henry, crying, laughing, everything. It just brought everyone together.”
Students also scheduled a vigil for 7 this morning outside the high school to honor Henry.
Henry Dang’s friends described him as active and energetic, with an outstanding personality. He was involved in basketball and track, his church youth group and his friends.
”He had a smile that lit up the room,” said youth pastor Brian Sullivan, who knew Henry for the last 2½ years in church and on the basketball court. “He was excited about life. He was very genuine and very respectful. He’s going to be really missed.”
Youth group leader Conroy praised Henry as “just a great kid. Everybody loved him. He was always happy, always smiling, always there to talk to anyone who was hurting. He’d be the first one, even if he didn’t know them, to go up and ask them if he could do anything to help. Just a sweetheart.”
“He was very caring,” Mariah Brown said. “He loved everyone. Everyone who he talked to was his friend.”
Like Sunday’s sermon, Conroy said, “You can’t take the people you love for granted because there’s no guarantee how long they’ll be here.”